


what do you feel for me? is it nothing but pity?

by newct127



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, HYUCKIL NATION RISE, Idiots in Love, M/M, Moon Taeil-centric, Neighbors, Not beta'd we die like men, Past Lee Taeyong/Moon Taeil, Slice of Life, Taeil is my bias, honey you got a big storm coming, lukewarm at best descriptions of smutty scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23984239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newct127/pseuds/newct127
Summary: After a bad break up, Taeil wants a break from dating. But he can’t help but catch feelings for his blessing-and-a-curse, flirty new upstairs neighbor.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Moon Taeil
Comments: 52
Kudos: 322





	what do you feel for me? is it nothing but pity?

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: i wrote 2k for this fic and then my laptop charger decided to quit it in the middle of a 85 hour weekend lockdown. between that, the curfew we have, work, and still not being able to move too much (at the time, i’m much better now), it was only the wednesday after the lockdown that i got a working laptop back and had a chance to continue.
> 
> this fic is here to cement the fact that taeil is my bias, that i have too much diorama making knowledge, and that i can’t write anything without some sort of tragic back-story included.
> 
> i hope all of you are doing well. i also hope this fic helps you with the quarantine boredom.
> 
> title is from this side of the moon by gabrielle aplin

All Taeil really wants is a boring life. A stable job, a peaceful home that he owns. No worries about whether or not he can afford his next meal, his bills, or his rent. He wants no excitement whatsoever. He wants boring, because up until this point there hasn’t been any of that.

Taeil left home when he was fifteen and moved to the city, far away from his family. He cut ties with everyone and has been on his own since.

He worked any job he could find, slept in lousy cheap motels the first year. He then started renting rooms and apartments, slowly upgrading on each previous one, going from a cockroach infested moldy nightmare he had to put himself in for three total months, to semi-decent to decent studios and finally an actual apartment. His proudest moment so far was the first day in his previous apartment. He and his boyfriend of six months had just moved in, and looking around the apartment Taeil couldn’t help but note the lack of insects, broken furniture and appliances. Nothing in that apartment was half-assed, it was in fact a whole entire ass.

But not all things last, he got betrayed, and as the relationship died, he couldn’t stay there anymore. He had to move. So he swore off dating and he moved to his current place about two months ago.

The new apartment isn’t an upgrade on the previous one. It’s not too shabby either. It’s decent. And nothing in it is broken, which is a plus, but that’s mostly because he had to get it unfurnished and he doesn’t really own a lot of things (it took precisely one (1) trip with a cab (he allowed himself the luxury) to move all of his belongings from the previous to this apartment). But it’s also kind of claustrophobic. Not because of the lack of space, it is a decent size, and as previously implied, kind of empty, but because Taeil is living on his own again, and he hadn’t realized that he gotten used to living with someone before he moved. The loneliness is what feels suffocating, it closes in on him in the early evening hours when he attempts to go to sleep, as that is his only chance at getting some rest after work.

He works two jobs. The first one is a regular nine to five in a corner store few blocks away (a job he’s had for years), after which he comes home for a few hours of sleep. The second one is the graveyard shift at a gas station that’s also a few blocks away, but in the opposite direction.

His life isn’t too complicated. But it isn’t stable or peaceful either. The graveyard shift is always stressful, his corner store shift is always really busy. But he works both because he’s saving up. First, for an actual new bed, not just a second-hand mattress he got off a dude on Craigslist and set on the floor. Then he wants to save enough up for a computer, and a new phone (he cracked his screen two months ago, but luckily that thing still works). The last thing Taeil wants is to get GED, and take some classes that will get him a better job afterwards, maybe.

He knows he’s gonna get there. Slowly, but surely. Matter of fact, he’s almost there. He just needs to keep his life boring for long enough to get there.

* * *

When Taeil moved in, he got a chance to pick from three empty apartments in the building. So he picked the quietest one. It took weeks for one of the other apartments to get rented, the one right above Taeil in fact. And for the first week after the new neighbors moved in everything was fine. Taeil heard no noises, he had no complaints. The only reason why he knew that someone moved in upstairs was because he saw movers bringing up boxes.

Once that first week was over, some noise during the period when Taeil was home started occurring. Some footsteps, which was normal (and only one pair, he couldn’t help but notice), and wasn’t that big of a deal, but also some strange and short dragging noises, and the worst of all, the buzzing.

The fucking buzzing, like someone was either drilling, or cutting wood, or sanding with one of those electric tools like on those house repair shows Taeil used to watch back when he had a boyfriend and didn’t have two jobs.

He let the noise slide for a week. They’re new in the building, they’re just getting settled, maybe making some repairs.

But then it starts driving him insane.

* * *

He calls the landlord to complain. He doesn’t really want to do it (it’s not the nicest thing to do, and in fact he feels a bit like a preschooler tattling to his teacher), but he hasn’t had any sleep in two days cause whoever lives above him is kind of loud during his sleeping time.

There are no noises for four days after that. And Taeil relaxes. He catches up on his sleep. Forgets about it too.

But then there’s noise again, and Taeil can’t take it.

“Knock it off!” he yells towards the ceiling, and feels a dry scratching in his throat immediately. That turns out not to be a good idea. Not only because now he has to get up and off his mattress to get a glass of water, but also because it doesn’t work. If not, it makes things worse.

And now he has to go upstairs and settle this the old fashioned way. By arguing face to face.

* * *

Taeil knocks on the door and waits. He’s in his pajamas, which he rarely gets to wear, but he had taken a shower and felt like spoiling himself, so he put them on. Maybe pajamas weren’t a great fashion choice for a heated conversation with a neighbor, but he didn’t really think that changing his clothes would matter.

“Yes?”

The man who opens the door has the cutest baby face and the most innocent eyes Taeil had ever seen in his fucking life. Thank fuck he swore off dating, if he hadn’t he’d be down for a flirt or two with the neighbor. If he isn’t a piece of shit towards him in this conversation there is. Actually, there isn’t time for that. He is here for something more important. And he did swear of dating, thank you very much, so there will not be any of that at all.

“Hi. I’m your downstairs neighbor. Can you keep it down? I’m trying to sleep,” Taeil asks, keeping his tone of voice calm an neutral in attempt to hide his frustration.

“Um…” his neighbor returns. He looks at Taeil, eyeing him from head to toe, then looks over his shoulder. It’s almost like he’s calculating something. When he returns his eyes on Taeil he says, “If you give me ten more minutes of noise, I won’t make any for a week.”

Ten minutes it what it will take for him to go back downstairs, finish his water and go back to bed. That will absolutely work.

“Deal.”

“Thank you,” his neighbor smiles at him.

“Nice to meet you. Bye,” Taeil says, and walks away before a conversation can even begin.

* * *

His neighbor stays true to his word and he doesn’t make any noise for a week. Taeil is hoping he’d do it for longer than that, but no. A week later, to the dot, there it is. Fucking electric tool noise. Again. What is that guy even doing up there?

Taeil just got home from work, and this is the last thing he needs after a day on his feet.

He sets his backpack down on the kitchen counter and leaves through the door again, keys still in hand. He’s basically fuming.

He knocks on the door and waits.

“Hey there,” his neighbor smiles.

“Hi.”

“Was I noisy again, neighbor?” his neighbor says, being sheepish about it.

“Yes neighbor,” Taeil says, mimicking the guy’s tone.

“I have maybe half an hour more of work, and I should be done,” his neighbor explains, smiling sympathetically, “I’m sorry for the inconvenience. Well, not too sorry. It’s nice to see you.”

This is the guy’s attempt at flirting, but Taeil isn’t having it. He promised himself he wouldn’t.

“Thanks,” Taeil returns, sarcasm dripping from his mouth, “Half an hour, you said?”

“Yep,” the guy smiles widely.

“Okay, great. Bye neighbor.”

Taeil has already started climbing down the stairs when his neighbor speaks again.

“Wait,” the guy has rushed out of his apartment and is now standing on the top stair, barefoot, Taeil can’t help but notice, “You should give me your number.”

“Why should I do that?”

“So the next time I have to make noise I can notify you in advance,” they guy says, once again returning to his sheepish, musical tone of voice.

Taeil considers it, his eyes darting back to the guy’s bare feet.

“Get back inside, you shouldn’t be standing like that on the cold concrete,” Taeil says, bossily. The guy pouts at him, the fucking nerve, and Taeil realizes this isn’t going to be easy, “I’ll give you my number, but I will not take responsibility if you get sick.”

“Yes boss.”

Taeil waits until the guy is back on carpeted area before he follows him back.

“Here’s my phone, put your number in, call it, and all that.”

“Great,” the guy beams at him, and accepts his phone, “There,” his neighbor is still smiling when he gives his phone back, “I look forward to hearing from you.”

“I hope you won’t have to,” Taeil says and he heads back to his apartment.

Climbing down the stairs he can’t help but be curious about the guy’s number. He checks his phone, and it is in fact, right there. TLOML, the guy has put as an ID. Taeil has no idea what that means, it could be anything. He deletes that name, and then writes ‘2A’ instead. That’s better.

* * *

“You live around here now, right?”

The question comes from Jungwoo, his colleague at the convenience store as they’re restocking the chips. Well, colleague might not be the most accurate description.

Jungwoo’s nice, and he always manages to make Taeil laugh, especially when he really needs it. They’re friends. Not the closest of friends (Taeil only pretends actually, he feels like he doesn’t deserve to call Jungwoo that because he doesn’t really have time to keep any type of relationship alive these days. In reality, Jungwoo is technically Taeil’s best friend), but also, Jungwoo is Taeil’s only friend (because his ex got the rest of his friends in the separation proceedings).

“I bought this thing online… There’s this guy that makes like custom D&D boards, right. I sent him the design I had in mind, and he made it for me. I need to pick it up. He sent me his address, but I don’t know where it is. I thought maybe you could help.”

“I can try. If I don’t know, I know who to ask,” Taeil promises.

Jungwoo pulls out his phone and shows Taeil the address, his address. Only the apartment upstairs. 2A.

Sure. Might as well.

“That’s my building,” Taeil says.

“Great. I’ll give you a ride home, and you can help me carry the thing to my car.”

“You have a deal.”

* * *

Taeil doesn’t want to think about how Jungwoo is a talkative person and how he might say something (or might say everything) to his neighbor. He doesn’t think about that as he directs Jungwoo to go upstairs and he quickly darts inside his apartment to leave his backpack.

Then he’s on his way out and upstairs. He’s absolutely going to help. Taeil keeps every promise he makes, especially the ones he makes to himself.

“Howdy neighbor,” the guy beams at him. He and Jungwoo are standing outside the apartment door, almost like they are waiting for him.

“Neighbor,” Taeil returns, and he really hopes this entire exchange is natural and Jungwoo won’t notice how awkward they’re being.

“It’s not too heavy, it’s just massive in size,” his neighbor explains with a satisfied smile, then he steps back so they can enter the apartment.

“No worries, Taeil’s gonna help me,” Jungwoo says, smiling back at Taeil before he enters the apartment.

“Taeil,” his neighbor mouths his name at him. Taeil rolls his eyes, hiding a smile as he follows Jungwoo inside, “So, what do you think?”

“This is amazing,” Jungwoo says. He’s right, the board his neighbor made looks terrific. So detailed, just like those dioramas he’s seen in museums, “It’s exactly what I wanted. Thank you so much Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck, huh. Now it was Taeil’s turn to mouth his neighbor’s name at him, and this is met by a satisfied grimace.

“It was my pleasure.”

* * *

_I’ll be noisy from 2 to 3 pm today_

_I’m at work so it doesn’t matter_

_too bad. cause it’d be nice to see you_

The text from Donghyuck about upcoming noise happens every few days or so, and his answer is the same. Taeil can’t help but notice how the noise no longer happens while he is at home. It’s a gesture that he’d have to thank the neighbor for some day. It makes his life a whole lot easier.

* * *

“Donghyuck texted me questions about you?” Jungwoo says it like a question and Taeil isn’t sure how to respond to that, “Why he didn’t walk downstairs and ask you is beyond me. But I answered all of them.”

“Why did you do that?”

“He gave me a discount, I owe the man,” Jungwoo says, slightly defensive, but also dismissive.

“What did you tell him?” Taeil asks another question.

“I told him all of your deepest and darkest secrets,” Jungwoo returns, wiggling his eyebrows and just by that facial expression Taeil knows that he’s joking. But he’s also smiling knowingly, and Taeil is kind of worried about that, “TLOML, that’s what he calls you.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Google it.”

Well, Taeil’s screwed. Whatever was said between those two might not be his deepest and darkest secrets like Jungwoo joked, but it can’t be good for him.

* * *

When Taeil gets home that day Donghyuck is waiting for him on the staircase, sitting on the top stair.

“Hey there boss.”

“Hey. What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you,” Donghyuck’s smile widens, “Jungwoo said you’re done at five.”

“It takes me a bit to walk home,” Taeil states, “Now, why are you waiting for me?”

“Do you remember the day we exchanged phone numbers?” Donghyuck asks, standing up and following Taeil to his apartment door.

“Like it was last week,” Taeil says. It was, in fact, a bit over a week ago.

“Good. Well, I was unpacking some more, and I found my old phone. I remembered yours had a cracked screen and I thought you could use it,” Donghyuck says. Taeil isn’t sure if it’s a nice thought or if it reeks of pity. Somewhere in between, “Just to hold you off until you can get yourself a new one.”

“I don’t…”

“Oh, if you think I’m gonna let it go, you’re mistaken.”

“I can’t take it,” Taeil insists.

“I used it for a few months, then I got the latest model. And I have absolutely no need for it. It’s better that you have it than for me to throw it away.”

“I don’t need your pity.”

“If I pitied you I’d buy you a new one. I wouldn’t be giving you my old one with the missing pixels.”

There is no other solution, Taeil realizes, than to cave in and do whatever Donghyuck wants him to. He accepts the phone and charger that Donghyuck is handing him, and he uses his most sincere voice to speak.

“Thank you.”

“No worries, boss,” Donghyuck winks at him, and he immediately heads up the stairs, “See you.”

* * *

Taeil uses the phone (and Donghyuck’s WiFi that the phone is still connected to) to Google the meaning of TLOML that same night. He doesn’t like the answer that comes back.

* * *

The landlord has been showing the one apartment that was left unoccupied for weeks. And it seems like that one has been rented as well. Taeil misses the moment as he was at work, but now that he’s home he hears movement in the hallway, and he sees a whole lot of movers on his way in.

He is curious, sure. But not too curious. Taeil is still at work most of the time, so it doesn’t really affect him.

He doesn’t find out on purpose. He’s just setting the ‘welcome’ mat Jungwoo gives him as a ‘new apartment, but also I noticed you didn’t have one’ gift.

He knows because he sees the headboard. It’s not any headboard, he remembers the day that he helped make it, they were painting and drawing on it for hours.

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Out of all the apartment buildings in the city, how did he end up here?

* * *

_are you free right now? I need a favor._

Taeil isn’t really thinking when he picks up his phone (the one Donghyuck have him, cause he might be a persistent fucker, but he’s also right), and sends the text. All he knows is that his ex is in the hallway, going through his moving boxes. He did not in fact sell the bed like Taeil hoped, he is actually really here, across the hall, and Taeil needs someone to vent to.

_anything for you boss._

_if I gave you my key, would you be willing to come down and let yourself in my apartment_

Taeil would get the door himself, but he doesn’t really want to be seen by his ex like this. He looks tired, he’s had a very long day, and he’s been in this shirt for two days now, and it’s not okay. He’s going to change to greet Donghyuck, but his exhaustion isn’t something he could cover up (he doesn’t even know where he could hypothetically start).

_how are you going to give me they key?_

_the fire escape._

_why don’t I just come down the fire escape?_

Cause I’m a pathetic mess that doesn’t want his ex to think that I’m still hung up on him even though he cheated on me and wrecked my life.

Wait. That’s too much information for right away (and it seems like he’s scaring the upstairs neighbor enough with the current creepy behavior).

_I’ll tell you if you do me the favor._

_is the new neighbor your ex?_

He’s been read like a picture book. But that’s not too difficult to guess, Taeil thinks.

_yes._

_meet me at the fire escape in five. I need to dress up for your ex. I’m gonna make him regret it._

Taeil uses that time to change out of his dirty work shirt. And he guesses that Donghyuck really does dress up because when Taeil passes him his spare key, he is wearing jeans and a sweater that makes him look soft, and put together.

“What pet name did your ex call you?” Donghyuck asks him, as he accepts the keys in his hand.

“Why?” Taeil returns with a question of his own.

“So I can use it against him,” he smiles. He’s kind of vengeful, and Taeil really likes it, “Honey or baby?”

Neither, it was cheekbones (and it used to be Taeil’s favorite word, but now just the thought of it makes him want to vomit).

“Whichever one you give me is fine,” he says, and he really means it.

“Red or white wine?”

Whatever, really.

“Red.”

“See you in a few.”

* * *

Taeil stands in the kitchen, waiting for Donghyuck to come. He had just put on his cleanest, newest shirt and he’s feeling himself just a bit. He picks the kitchen cause it’s close enough to the front door that he’s able to hear what’s going on outside while at the same time, he’s hidden just in case Donghyuck opens the door as widely as it goes.

He hears Donghyuck’s footsteps coming down the stairs and he starts feeling nervous. He isn’t sure why, but there are actual butterflies in his stomach ever since he first texted his neighbor, and now they are getting worse. Which of the things was causing it was what he needed to decipher here.

“Oh, hi. Welcome to the building,” he says and Taeil can imagine the expression on Donghyuck’s face. He shouldn’t be able to, but he can

“Thank you.” This is the first time he’s hearing his exes voice since their break up, and except for it being a bit of a trip down memory lane, there isn’t really much else to it. Taeil’s proud of himself, “I’m Taeyong, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Donghyuck. Nice to meet you too,” Taeil hears, “I live upstairs. Don’t be a stranger.”

Well, maybe they could’ve done without that, but he gets what Donghyuck is going for. Cluelessness. That way there won’t be any trace of Taeil in the conversation. Donghyuck is one smart cookie.

“Thanks. The same goes for you.”

“Will do,” Donghyuck’s voice is getting louder as he gets closer to the door. Taeil braces himself as he hears the key getting inserted in the keyhole, a bit scared of what Donghyuck has in store, “Taeil baby, I brought a bottle of red wine and pizza is on it’s way. Tell me all about your day.”

Taeil’s heart may or may not skip at the word ‘baby’ (no big deal, he’s just lovesick. It’s been a while, for fuck’s sake). Calm down, Moon.

Donghyuck’s smiling when he closes the door behind himself, looking proud of himself.

“Thank you,” Taeil says immediately.

“It was my pleasure.”

“I should order that pizza.”

“I already did,” Donghyuck winks at him. Fuck, “I’ll wait till it gets here, then I’ll sneak up the fire escape.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know you work all night too, you have to sleep sometime.”

Of course. Jungwoo couldn’t keep that bit to himself.

“There’s no way I’m going to sleep this evening. I’m riled up, and I need to vent to someone. I’d like it to be you.”

It seems like Donghyuck is considering it for a moment.

“Well, I did just become your fake boyfriend, so we might as well get to know each other,” Donghyuck smiles at him again. He places the bottle on the kitchen counter and then he heads towards the couch.

* * *

Donghyuck is really easy to open up to.

It might be the wine (not a cheap bottle with a sour taste, but a sweet, melt in your mouth and burn your throat kind). Or maybe it’s the pizza (cause it’s really delicious, and just the thing Taeil needed after skipping lunch, but at the same time he has more than his usual serving of just one slice and he feels full, actually). But still, Taeil opens up, he talks about leaving home at first, cause Donghyuck asks about his family. He talks about the shitty jobs he’s had in the past. And Taeyong has still to come up as a subject.

“So, why do you work two full time jobs?” Donghyuck asks and Taeil doesn’t mean to laugh, it just simply happens, “What?”

“What’s wrong with this apartment Hyuck?” Taeil asks back.

“Nothing,” is the answer he receives and it makes him crook an eyebrow because both of them know it’s bullshit. Taeil doesn’t do guests, Donghyuck is the first person he’s ever let inside. The apartment itself is fine, but… “Okay, fine. It is a bit empty.”

“Exactly. I don’t want to complain, okay. I used to call a motel room my home. But I also don’t own any furniture. And what I do own is second hand. I mean, I don’t even have a laptop that works every time I need it. And on top of that, I want to get my GED. I need to save up enough to tie me over until I can work two jobs again. Things cost money.”

Okay, Captain Obvious. The wine was really getting to him.

“You know, I have an old laptop that could hold you over until you can get yourself a new one.”

Pity again. That’s not nice at all, it’s practically the opposite.

“Stop giving me things,” there’s annoyance in Taeil’s voice.

“What? I can be your fake boyfriend, but I can’t be your sugar daddy too?”

“I didn’t ask you to be my fake boyfriend. And why would you want to be my sugar daddy?”

“You asked me to imply it, I just did a better job than you had in mind. And why wouldn’t I want to be your sugar daddy? I mean, have you seen yourself?” Donghyuck says. Wait, what was that again? “I have an excess of some things, and you need those things. I don’t see what the problem is.”

“I don’t bring anything to the table, Hyuck.”

“Who told you that bullshit?”

“It’s true. You’ve already done so much for me, and I can’t repay you in any way.”

“I’m not asking you to repay me. We’re friends.”

“We’re friends,” Taeil repeats, “We’ve known each other for a month, and this is the first actual conversation we’re having.

“So? We’ll get to know each other,” Donghyuck insists.

“When?”

“Every day after work and before you go to bed. Either here or my place. We’ll share a meal and talk, and we’ll become the best of friends.”

That was actually not too horrible of an idea.

* * *

Taeil manages to slip by that night, and the following morning, without stumbling upon his ex. He sees that as an achievement, a small victory to celebrate as he figures out how the fuck he should go about the entire thing. It’s not like they’ve been friendly, or in contact since their break up, Taeil knows where he stands about it all, but he hasn’t heard Taeyong’s side of the story. And the thought passes through his head: should he move again? And where the fuck should he go?

“That’s idiotic,” Jungwoo tells him. They’re at work, of course, and Jungwoo’s taking his break by keeping Taeil company behind the register, “So what if that asshole lives down the hallway. You’re not in the same apartment. And you said you’re over him. Who cares?”

“What if it’s uncomfortable?”

“It would be a problem if it’s not uncomfortable. I mean, you two dated for like two years, and it didn’t end well either,” Jungwoo says, and it does make Taeil feel better about the whole thing. He is right, “Or is it uncomfortable cause your upstairs neighbor has the hots for you and you’re kind of interested too?”

Ah. He’s right about that too.

“I don’t know. Maybe both,” Taeil admits, and the words coming out of his mouth feel like they aren’t his own at first. But they are. And they are true. Even though it takes him a moment to realize it.

“Maybe talk to them both,” Jungwoo suggests.

It’s easy for Jungwoo to say it. He doesn’t have to do any of it himself.

Taeil is not going to do any of that. Talking doesn’t achieve anything, anyway.

* * *

Donghyuck isn’t necessarily waiting for him outside their building per se, but he does see him coming from the opposite direction and then lingers so they walk up the stairs together. Taeil really appreciates that, just in case.

The moment Taeil approaches Donghyuck he is struck by the smell of spices, and his stomach rumbles at it (too audibly for Taeil’s taste).

“What smells so good?”

“I got us Indian food for dinner,” Donghyuck gives him a smile. Taeil blushes. He let himself forget about the shared meals just for a moment. They head inside, and once they’re climbing up the steps the conversation continues, “How was your day at work?”

“The usual. A lot of restocking and being on my feet all day.”

“How does a foot massage sound?”

“Is that another thing you have an excess of?” Taeil jokes, and only after it leaves his mouth he realizes what it sounds like. He’s flirting. Without much thought given to it, might he add.

“I did buy a foot massager on a whim, so I guess you could say that. But I’m not giving it to you, I’m only allowing you to use it. And I haven’t allowed anyone else to use it, so consider it a privilege.”

“Thank you. I’d love to give it a try.”

Right after he says that Taeil hears footsteps coming down the stairs. He stops. He recognizes the rhythm in them, and then he immediately hates himself for recognizing it. He starts to panic about it, of course, cause does he really have any other choice?

Donghyuck must notice the sudden change in Taeil’s mood because he comes closer to Taeil and catches his hand. They’re back to playing pretend, and Taeil relaxes with that gesture. It’s not going to be too awkward cause Donghyuck is there to remedy the situation, he realizes.

Taeyong is taken aback when he sees him, Taeil knows that facial expression too well. Donghyuck knows to play it cool, just like he did the previous day. He does exactly that.

“Hello neighbor,” Donghyuck gives him an innocent smile, his grip around Taeil’s hand tightening, but not uncomfortably. It feels more soothing than uncomfortable, “This is my boyfriend, Taeil, he lives across the hall from you. Taeil, this is Taeyong, our new neighbor. You didn’t get to meet him because you were at work.”

Real subtle Donghyuck, Taeil wants to say with a sprinkle of sarcasm over his words. Instead he settles for breaking his stare off Taeyong and clearing his throat while digging his fingers into Donghyuck’s dorsal. Donghyuck goes unbothered by it, still smiling at Taeyong. Taeyong is staring at Taeil, shock still present on his face.

Taeil doesn’t know what to say, where to begin. He had never been in this situation before, having to introduce his boyfriend to his ex, so he’s really not sure what tone of voice he should go with. The fact that he reminds himself that Hyuck is his fake boyfriend doesn’t help whatsoever.

“Um… we’ve met,” Taeyong says. Met? Really? Is that all he has? “We’ve known each other for a while,” the implication is perfectly placed in Taeyong’s fruity voice. Too bad he couldn’t unfuck that guy he met last winter, otherwise, Taeil would still be melting when he hears it.

“Oh, I see,” Donghyuck returns, slowly wiping away the smile on his face, until the expression that’s left is somewhere between discomfort and disappointment. Give the man an Oscar. For a moment Taeil feels happy because of the beautiful acting job Hyuck is doing in this situation. He could just kiss that perfectly innocent face of his.

Welp, maybe that’s not the best idea at the moment. Calm down Moon.

“I didn’t know you lived here,” Taeyong says, “When did you move here?”

“Right away,” Taeil responds, then he turns to Donghyuck, “We should go Hyuck, our food is getting cold.”

“Of course,” Donghyuck says and seconds it with a nod before they start walking up the stairs again. They walk past Taeyong and Taeil feels like the fact he doesn’t turn around afterwards is a sign of all the progress he’s been making. He’s moved on. It’s the best achievement he’s made this year.

* * *

“He cheated on you?” Donghyuck asks, repeating the words Taeil had just said. They are sharing from the take out containers, sat in Donghyuck’s living room, and Taeil has his feet in the foot massager, because it wasn’t like he was going to pass on that opportunity. They’re finally on the subject of Taeyong, and Taeil isn’t holding back, even though he’s getting sleepy and the food is too good to miss out on.

“Yep. With some guy from his office,” Taeil says oh-so casually. He’s had more than enough time to get used to that. He has no trouble saying it now. Not as much as he had the day after he found out when he pulled Jungwoo towards the frozen section and barely whispered the news to him.

“Really? He’s shitting where he’s eating? Is he dumb?” Taeil almost laughs. That was Jungwoo’s exact reaction too, “What?” Donghyuck asks. Taeil didn’t realize it, but he’s apparently staring.

“Thank you. For what you did. And for the devices you let me use. And for the food.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s my pleasure,” Donghyuck gives him a smile. Taeil feels that smile wash over his body like a sudden, inexplicable warmth, “Besides. I love gossip, so I’m enjoying all this drama.”

“Glad I could entertain you.”

“And you said you don’t bring anything to the table.”

Taeil laughs at that as well. Two weeks into their fake relationship he already feels so close to Donghyuck and he knows his tone of voice. The comment is lighthearted, it’s meant to redirect the conversation from the heavy subject they were talking about. Donghyuck does that sometimes. And Taeil can’t be any more grateful for that as well.

* * *

Donghyuck usually works during the period where they can eat. So Taeil also has the pleasure of watching him do exactly that.

Donghyuck has a lot of patience with what he does. He takes his time to make sure every step is correct, that things look the way they should. Taeil is in awe most of the time. He’s never been good at crafts, or had that much patience for anything. What Donghyuck’s doing is detailed work, it’s sifting sand, and sanding down the tiniest of wooden dowels, and placing HO scale trees that he makes by hand, and painting river beds until they look realistic before pouring resin so in the end it does in fact look like a freaking river.

Taeil helps with some stuff. He is good at measuring and he can mix stuff, which there is a bit of… the colorant in the resins, the sand and grout mixture, and the plaster mixture to make the hills out of, among others. He gets how the resin 3D printer Hyuck uses works, and he likes helping with whatever Hyuck prints. The process of the bits in isopropyl alcohol before curing them in the UV lamp makes Taeil feel like he knows what he’s doing.

He helps with all the rest of the clean up, too. Donghyuck uses a lot of containers to store, or mix stuff in, and while what he uses for mixing resin is rendered useless afterwards, most of the others cups, plates and bowls can be reused, and Taeil doesn’t mind doing that. He helps wherever he can, cause even though Donghyuck doesn’t ask him to, it’s the least he can do.

They hang out for an hour or two every day, depending on how tired Taeil is feeling. They talk a lot. They start off with talking about their days, then they move onto the news, and by the end of the visit they share a childhood story or two. Hyuck talks about his childhood more, he understands that it’s a bitter subject for Taeil, so he doesn’t force it.

When Taeil starts to get really sleepy, he goes back to his apartment. He usually uses the fire escape to go back downstairs, just cause of his silly, sleep-deprived paranoia (which is a fun quirk, and not in any way stupid), and Donghyuck just smiles and doesn’t say anything about it.

It’s their routine. It’s how their friendship works.

* * *

The first time they kiss its Taeil’s idea. Donghyuck is walking him back to the apartment, like the excellent fake boyfriend he is, cause it’s raining outside and Taeil doesn’t want to use the fire escape, but he also doesn’t want to sleep over upstairs, cause he has to get up for work in five hours. Just as they’re saying goodbye in front of Taeil’s door and they hear Taeyong’s door open.

“Kiss me,” Taeil whispers, and it doesn’t really surprise Donghyuck too much. He doesn’t think too long about it either. He kisses him almost instantly, and Taeil feels it in his stomach and chest. It’s nice. Hyuck is careful about it, he’s gentle and he doesn’t push for more. He seems to linger a bit, but Taeil also feels like his entire world is spinning like crazy, so that could be it. Taeil wants more, he realizes it then.

Fuck. What happened to not dating for a while?

Taeil feels like an idiot for thinking that his feelings won’t get tangled in this entire thing.

That’s same night Taeil takes his phone and goes back to the contacts list. He changes 2A back to TLOML, and he swears to never speak of it again.

* * *

“I’m happy you kissed, but I can’t believe you’re replacing me as your best friend.”

“I’m not replacing you, Jungwoo.”

“You’re right. Once you start dating I’ll be your best friend again. But I don’t approve of that guy in the meantime.”

Taeil was intending to talk about his freshly realized feelings. Instead, he needs to dissect this subject first.

“I honestly didn’t realize we are that close.”

“How can you not?” Jungwoo asks, and Taeil really thinks about it. He considers what they used to do up until a few months ago.

“You haven’t been to my new place.”

“Whose fault is that?”

Taeil’s fault.

“I haven’t been to your new place.”

“Have I invited you?”

“Yes.”

“So again, whose fault is that?”

Taeil’s fault, again.

“We don’t go out either,” he attempts. It’s a weak argument at best, and he wishes he could take it back. They had such fun times in the past.

“We used to. But now you’re always working, you dummy. I can’t bring myself to invite you cause of that. I don’t want to make my best friend lose sleep because of it, and I don’t want to hear a ‘no, I have to sleep’ every time I invite you, either.”

What surprised Taeil most of all is that Jungwoo still considers him his best friend. Taeil’s gotten so used to being replaced in other’s lives that he’s taken aback when he learns he hasn’t been.

“Once I get my GED…”

“And a bed before that,” Jungwoo adds, and Taeil is happy that he remembers. Right. They’re friends. It makes sense that he remembers.

“I will get a slight raise here, which will be enough to quit having a second job permanently, and we’ll go out every night.”

“I hate Taeyong more every day just because back then you didn’t have to work so much, and we actually spent time together.”

“I miss sleeping during the night. I miss cooking daily, and not just once a week. I really miss leisure time. Hobbies. I miss hobbies too.”

“And?” Jungwoo raises an eyebrow, reading through Taeil’s purposeful avoidance of that one expected answer.

“I miss hanging out with you too.”

Jungwoo raises both arms in the air, clenched celebratory fists. He grabs a case of fruit that needs to be arranged next and walks off. It’s maybe two minutes later that Jungwoo returns.

“You can always cook for Donghyuck. You know, that entire thing about how knowing how to cook can get you a man,” he says.

“That’s a great idea,” Taeil smiles back.

That gives him so many ideas.

* * *

_would it be okay if instead of takeout I cook for us today?_

_of course. any ingredients I should get?_

_I’ll get it all._

_deal._

Before Taeil leaves work he gets some ingredients from the store, taking advantage of the employee discount, like he always does. He has a meal in mind, his own recipe for kimchi stew that he doesn’t make as often anymore (it’s not really big batch friendly and takes a bit more time than Taeil is able to spare on cooking). But he really wants to make it for Donghyuck, and he is absolutely going to.

He gets to work as soon as he gets home and his excitement only grows. He gets jitters at the thought of sharing a meal with Donghyuck. Well, he does get them usually too, but this time it’s food that he makes himself, so it’s sort of different. He really hopes this will impress Donghyuck.

* * *

They kiss again that evening. As Donghyuck says goodbye he leaves a lingering peck against Taeil’s lips (it might not be the most movie-esque sight, but to Taeil it feels like an epiphany and a tiny orgasm wrapped in one). Taeil tries not to think about it and fails (and he also loses a few hours of sleep over it).

He thinks and over thinks because that kiss comes from nowhere. They're not in the hallway. Taeyong isn't anywhere nearby. Donghyuck just does it, and it's what Taeil really wants, so he doesn't say no or push him away. If it was only up to Taeil, he'd stop Donghyuck from leaving. It’s what every atom in his body wants.

But it's not just him. There are two of them in this whatevership and Taeil needs to talk to Donghyuck before he even dares. Their whatevership is complicated after all. He's going to do it, really. Once he picks up the courage, he will. Until then he’ll stew in his feelings. Stews taste better after they’ve been on low heat for a long time, anyway.

* * *

“What happened last night?”

That’s the first thing Jungwoo asks the next day at work. No hellos, then again, Taeil is used to those being a rarity.

“What do you mean?”

“I might have gotten a text from someone who is almost certain he fucked up, and they might have been asking me for advice.”

“He didn’t fuck up.”

“I know that. Cause you didn’t talk to him.”

“It’s so difficult Jungwoo, I don’t know where to begin, what to say.”

“Hey, Donghyuck. I’m in love with you. Let’s date for real. There, three sentences,” Jungwoo says, “Did you talk to Taeyong, at least?” Um… Taeil doesn’t really wants to answer that. And luckily, he doesn’t have to. Jungwoo reads right through him, “No, of course not, I don’t know why I’m asking.”

“I’ll talk to Hyuck tonight.”

“Yeah, I think it’s best if you do that. Tell TLOYL how you feel.”

* * *

Taeil thinks about it all day, about what he’d like to say, what he needs to say to Hyuck. He’s so in his head about it that he’s actually kind of distracted all day long. Thankfully, Jungwoo’s there to pick up things whenever Taeil’s attention slips up.

He’s not sure how he gets to the apartment building, he only realizes he’s there once he enters his apartment. He leaves hi backpack, and quickly changes into fresh clothes, before heading upstairs. He needs to get it done before he forgets the speech he prepared in his head.

He’s so ready for it. But things don’t exactly go to plan. Taeyong stops him as soon as he exits the apartment.

“Where do you go every night?” Taeyong asks. It’s in that moment that Taeil realizes what that is, exactly. An ambush.

“None of your business.”

Taeyong goes quiet for a moment, then asks another question.

“Is everything okay with your boyfriend?”

“What’s it to you?”

“There seem to be a lot of men coming to his apartment.”

Taeil’s furious because of that statement. He’s also furious because he keeps trying to get to the staircase to go upstairs and failing, he keeps getting interrupted.

“He’s not doing what you did. And it’s another thing that’s none of your business.”

“It was an accident Taeil,” Taeyong attempts. That’s a pretty weak excuse, the weakest in the book.

“How do you accidentally shove your dick up someone’s ass?”

Taeil was really struggling to find the logic in it.

“I didn’t mean it to happen,” Taeyong corrects himself.

“Sure you didn’t.”

“I was drunk.”

Another lame excuse that Taeil can’t really even begin computing. Those two things have nothing to do with each other.

“Last time I was drunk I kept my genitals in my pants.”

Taeyong is quiet again. Mad and frustrated because he can’t really get an excuse in, Taeil can see it on his face. He gets quiet. They both do. Then Taeil heads towards the stairs again and Taeyong breaks the silence.

Is he just trying to keep him from going upstairs?

“Are you still planning on getting your GED?”

“Again, what’s it to you?”

“I would hate myself even more if what I did stopped you from doing that.”

“It didn’t. It only slowed me down.”

“I’m sorry,” Taeyong says, his tone of voice quite sincere. Taeil realizes that this might be his only chance to get to the truth, the final closure.

“Why did you do it? And being drunk isn’t a reason.”

“I don’t know. I guess, the closest to a reason I have is that I felt stuck. Not with you. With everything else. I needed to do something that felt like making a change. I didn’t intend for that change to be losing you.”

“Thank you. Now that that’s cleared up, are you going to fuck off?”

“If that’s what you want me to do, then yes,” Taeyong says, reluctantly.

“I’d love that, actually,” Taeil returns, allowing for the bitterness to seep through his words.

“Fine. I won’t say another word.”

“Good. Stay away from me and my relationship too.”

* * *

Taeil rushes upstairs right away. He’s excited, he did the scary part and now he’s onto the scarier. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to handle the rejection. It seems like he won’t be rejected, from what Jungwoo said, but he’s still afraid it might.

But like a band-aid, right?

Except Donghyuck isn’t in the best of moods. Taeil notices it the moment he walks into Donghyuck’s apartment and he sees his facial expression.

"Hey," Taeil greets him, and his heart immediately sinks. Donghyuck doesn’t even look at him. Shit.

"Hi," Donghyuck responds, his usual tone of voice now replaced with a cold one.

"Are you okay?" Taeil asks.

"Sure," Donghyuck says, still avoiding meeting Taeil’s eyes. He’s looking down at the chalk pastels he’s shaving, he uses them for shading on the dioramas. Taeil likes to watch as he works in those moments especially.

"What's going on?"

Taeil isn’t going to let it go. He needs to know. They were so close to talking about it. Taeil was so close to confessing his feelings. Is it going to be over before it begins?

"Nothing."

He closes the space between them, and when he reaches Donghyuck’s desk Taeil kneels down next to Hyuck’s chair.

"Hyuckie, talk to me," he pleads with his softest voice, and he places both hands, on the chair arm. He’s fighting the urge to place his hands on him, he’s too afraid to touch Hyuck because he doesn’t want to overstep any boundary. He needs to open up before he can do that.

"I was on my way to meet you just now. I saw you two," Donghyuck explains and Taeil gets it. If the roles were reversed he’d be acting the same way.

"Nothing happened."

"You'll tell me when it does, right?" Donghyuck then asks.

It’s only now that Taeil realizes the biggest miscommunication between them. Taeil never stated his intentions. He wasn’t doing fake to spark jealousy. He was only doing it for his ego, to prove to himself that he’s not dependent on that one person he used to depend on. He was doing it to move on. But Hyuck doesn’t know that. Not yet, at least.

"It won't," he promises.

"Taeil, I've never been in a relationship. I always go for unavailable guys. I keep doing casual and then getting heartbroken because I've caught feelings for people who don't want anything more than casual. Now I'm doing fake with you, and I don't want to be heartbroken again, but I’m well on my way… so, please be honest with me."

This kid, dammit. Taeil’s heart clenches with fondness at every word.

Taeil can’t resist (or cope with the fact that Hyuck is still refusing to look at him). He cups Donghyuck’s face with both hands until the younger is forced to meet his eyes. After a short smile, he takes a deep breath, and he starts speaking.

This is it. This is the moment.

"I had to talk to him. He accused you of cheating on me and I couldn’t not defend you. I told him to fuck off. I'm telling you the truth, I don't want any secrets. This stopped being fake for me weeks ago."

As soon as he says that Hyuck places his hands over Taeil’s and he intertwines his fingers in between.

“What?” the surprise grows more and more evident on Hyuck’s face.

“It was all muddy before we had our first kiss, but after it became even muddier. Okay, I don’t know why I’m saying after, while we were having that first kiss is the more precise moment.”

“And you’re only telling me this now?” Hyuck exclaims the words as he pulls Taeil in for a tight hug, “I’m gonna date the shit out of you.”

“I don’t want it any other way,” Taeil returns, and Donghyuck finally lets go, but only so he can kiss him. And Taeil swears that he’s never been kissed like that.

* * *

The day Taeil realizes he has saved up more than enough to get himself an actual brand new bed and mattress (even after he pays his rent and bills) he rushes upstairs to tell Donghyuck the news.

“That’s great,” he smiles back at him, and Taeil melts at that smile ever so slightly, “When are we going bed shopping?”

“I’ll take the day after tomorrow off. Are you free that day?”

“For you babe I’m always free.”

Donghyuck wraps his arms around him, smiling as he basically clings onto him. Taeil’s never been big on physical contact, but he loves it when it’s from Donghyuck. He even misses being touched when they have to be apart.

“Great. All we’ll have left to do afterwards would be christening it.”

“You’re saying it like I’m gonna say no to that,” Donghyuck smiles widely, then plants a kiss against Taeil’s lips.

* * *

The bed and mattress Taeil picks get delivered just a couple of hours after he buys it, and so the day turns from the one where Taeil buys a bed, to the one where Taeil gets a bed, and it’s up to him and Hyuck to put it together. Thankfully for Taeil, his boyfriend is good with putting things together, and he actually has some knowledge of basic carpentry, so at least to one of them the instructions make some sense.

By the time they’re done with putting the bed together (Hyuck understands the instructions, and Taeil understands Hyuck’s instructions, so along with the (once annoying, now useful) power tools Hyuck owns they do it in like an hour), Jungwoo makes his way to the apartment and brings the gift of new bed sheets (”you’ve been talking about a bed for ages, I picked these up like the day you moved to the new place”), and Taeil actually gives him a tour of the apartment he doesn’t feel too embarrassed by. They’re better friends than he initially thought, and Jungwoo understands, but at the same time, he’s made progress and the place doesn’t look as empty as before.

Taeil feels proud that day. He’s starting to get his life together. And yeah, breaking up with Taeyong and having to figure out a new life slowed him down. But he’s unstoppable. He’s always been that way.

* * *

Maybe Taeil shouldn’t have talked such a big game. Christening the new bed, his ass.

The first time they’re making out on top of it (it’s their actual first time getting to that step), just as they’re getting hot and heavy and nearing taking their clothes off it’s over. Taeil’s hard, painfully so, he hasn’t gotten laid in months and Donghyuck is perfect, he won’t deny that. So it makes sense, really, there is some friction, and he’s so lost in the moment. But he still won’t forgive himself that he cums the moment Hyuck slips his hand in his pants and touches him.

“You’re cute,” Donghyuck smiles at him, and Taeil blushes so hard he feels small fires in his cheeks.

“I’m sorry. This is so embarrassing.”

“Hey, none of that. You have no clue of the wonders you just did for my ego,” Donghyuck laughs against Taeil’s skin, the vibrations of his voice sending shivers down Taeil’s spine, “I’m gonna be thinking about this moment for the rest of my life,” he then whispers, before returning his attention to leaving kisses and sucking on Taeil’s neck.

* * *

When he submits his two week notice at the gas station he does his best to stop himself from smiling for the rest of the night. He knows it’ll seem like gloating, so he tries really hard to contain the smile to himself. There’s nothing to smile about, either way. He’s gonna have to do the job for two more weeks, and sure, he’ll get to sleep during the night afterwards, but also he’ll have GED prep, and that’s more work he’ll need to do.

Donghyuck helps him pick a GED class. They make a pros and cons list that is centered on how Taeil learns best, and they go for a combination of the class in the local high school and some free online classes that will help him practice more. And Taeil is genuinely excited about it, he counts down the days until he can start learning.

It takes him a bit of time to get used to a brand new sleeping schedule. And it’s really difficult at first. Not just because he’s sleeping at night, but because he used to get a maximum of six hours of sleep, and after sleeping for even six and half, he wakes up feeling disoriented. He also wakes up next to Donghyuck most mornings (it also takes time to get used to waking up in the freaking morning), and his boyfriend is nothing but supportive and understanding (another thing that takes time to get used to is the fact that he has a boyfriend now, which wow, who knew that would happen again).

After it’s all said and done, Taeil realizes that what he has now is some sense of normalcy back to his life. He’s slowly getting what he really wants. And it’s really hard not to gloat about that too.

* * *

Learning isn’t easy, but Taeil isn’t a quitter. He has a system (and his system works like 85% of the time).

For the sciences he writes down things a lot, all the facts he needs, and then reads through them many times. For the social studies and the arts it’s all about reading, and most of the reading is done out loud. He practically reads until the words start to sound wrong. For math he writes everything down. Over and over, and he practices solving the problems too.

Whenever he needs help, he asks for it. From teachers, from online tutorials, from Jungwoo, from Donghyuck (especially when he gets frustrated with any of the chapters, and he needs someone to fuck the tension away), and everything and everyone are helpful.

Until he gets stuck on math. And he knows only one person who’s good with that. His ex who loves math so much and will never go rusty cause his love of math lead him to his job as an accountant.

* * *

Taeil mentions it in passing, the idea that Taeyong could maybe help him (cause that school teacher sure can’t put it in terms that Taeil gets). It’s Donghyuck’s insisting that he should do it that makes Taeil not want to ask for his help (he doesn’t want to make it awkward for Donghyuck whatsoever, he deserves better than Taeil running to his ex with a problem). Instead, he promises that he’ll figure it out on his own.

He doesn’t figure it out, though. It’s math after all, and as good as Taeil is with the basics, if he doesn’t have anyone break it down for him, then he doesn’t really get it. And if he doesn’t really get it, then it’s pointless that he even tries.

He tries though, very hard. And it pisses him off that he can’t do it on his own. Everything else is so easy, he gets chemistry, and even physics. There is logic to it. Math not so much, he sees _some_ logic, but still (if he’s being real, it’s the limits’ fault cause those shits are difficult as fuck).

He’s really motivated to get it, though. He finds this video online, and it’s starting to seem like there is some logic to it (the internet also tells him he has dyscalculia, which makes sense too), and he gets home all pumped up for it. That’s the day he’s going to understand limits, he’s not going to have it any other way.

He arrives home with a bag of snacks and energy drinks, and he’s ready, okay. Thing is, there is a surprise for him inside. Donghyuck. And Taeyong too. That little shit went behind his back.

“You’re in trouble,” Taeyong says to Donghyuck, just by looking at Taeil’s facial expression. He is right. Then again, he ought to know the expression, it’s the last one he saw Taeil make right before they broke up.

Taeil doesn’t really know what to say. So he goes for a simple question.

“Why?”

“You’ve been struggling with the same chapter for two weeks now. Just let him try to help. If he can’t, we’ll find someone who can,” Donghyuck speaks with a tone of voice that’s soaking with casualness, “It’s more important that you learn this than who helps you learn it.”

Taeyong purses his lips. Donghyuck waits, confident that Taeil will agree. And Taeil is going to agree, not because he doesn’t have a choice, but because it’s the right one. It might be awkward, sure. But they’re not here for chit-chat, they’re here to study limits. Taeil won’t allow any chit-chat (he promises himself, right before he allows chit-chat).

“Fine,” Taeil finally agrees, his eyes only focused on Hyuck and the smile that breaks out on his face.

“Great. Pizza’s on its way, and I’m over there, working on some trees,” Hyuck then says.

There’s maybe ten seconds of silence during which Taeil shrugs off his work backpack before Taeyong asks.

“What kind of trees?”

“He makes dioramas by order. He’s working on an enormous one for this dude and part of it is a forest, so he needs to make a lot of HO scale trees,” Taeil explains, ravishing the sight of Taeyong as the realization strikes him.

“Is that why there are so many people coming and going from his apartment? They’re customers?”

“Yes.”

“And I accused him of…”

“Cheating? Yes, you did,” Taeil’s smile grows wider than it should. He may or may not be enjoying the fact that Taeyong is experiencing slight discomfort.

“Does he know that I accused him?” Taeyong then asks, swallowing as he expects the answer.

“Yes, he does,” Donghyuck answers instead of Taeil. It’s not a huge room and the sound travels. Taeyong should know better.

“Sorry,” he says to Donghyuck and just by the look on his boyfriend’s face Taeil has a feeling that he’ll say something back.

“You can repay me by teaching my boyfriend limits.”

Huh. The possessive side of Hyuck is doing it for Taeil.

“Yeah. Sure. Let’s begin,” Taeyong stutters out the words.

“I just need to change out of my work clothes. I’ll be right back.”

* * *

Okay so, maybe, just maybe, Taeyong actually helps Taeil figure out limits just enough so he gets the gist of it and he can actually manage to solve a few. Just maybe he owes Hyuck a big one, cause he never would’ve asked for help, but that is an easy solution cause he knows exactly how to say thank you to Hyuck. And maybe, absolutely just maybe, it wasn’t nearly as awkward or uncomfortable as Taeil thought it would be.

* * *

It takes Taeil two months to prepare for the GED exam, which he assumes is a good amount of time. He schedules to take the test as soon as he possibly can, and he spends the weekend before he does revising like crazy, taking online tests and having Donghyuck and Jungwoo score them for him. He revises out loud too, and they listen with the books set on their knees, so he has someone check whether or not he is waffling, or stating facts. In the end he decides he is ready for the test. And even if he fails, he can retake it twice for free, so he’s not putting too much pressure on himself (still, he is putting some pressure, cause it only makes sense that he does so).

The test is a freaking marathon. He schedules all of them in the same day, cause he can’t afford to take extra days off work (though the owner of the store he and Jungwoo work at understands, and she says it’s no issue at all). It takes up all of his energy, and he’s pretty sure he messes up at a few questions, but after eight and a half fucking hours in that school he’s ready to yeet himself onto the nearest bed. Luckily he owns one of those now.

After the test Taeil feels beat, and ever so slightly empty. He isn’t sure why he feels sad about it, he tries to analyze himself and the closes he comes to an answer is that it’s a goal he reached, and he doesn’t know what’s next.

He goes upstairs and complains to Donghyuck about it with a pout across his lips. Donghyuck pouts back, and wraps his arms around him to soothe him. In the end, it turns out, that’s all Taeil needs.

* * *

The email arrives less than 24 hours later, and as soon as the notification dings on his phone (he opted out of data on his phone years ago, what he now uses (with permission, and not just sneakily like before) is Hyuck’s WiFi) he opens it and carefully reads through the contents. And then he reads again. Cause he cannot fucking believe it. He passes. On his first try.

Sure, it’s not a 100% score, but it’s more than enough. As expected, the complicated math is what makes his score drop a bit, he knew that would be the way the moment he walked out of the math exam (like, he gets long division, and he gets geometry, the logic in it, the equations he has to remember and all that jazz, but those fucking limits can eat shit), but his score is still high enough that he can say he did it. He fucking made it! He’s gonna get a raise at work. He’s gonna be able to move the fuck on with his life.

Taeil decides to go out to celebrate with the people who helped him get there. Not right away of course, he needs about an hour of lying in bed and being cuddled, then a shower, before he can get the feeling back in his limbs (he thought he was good with his mouth, but as with most things Donghyuck does, he has made it an art).

He calls Jungwoo and tells him the plan over the phone, not telling him the reason, but making an irresistible offer of fried chicken and beer, followed by drinks at a club. Then he remembers Taeyong, and his help, but he pushes that thought away. After the earth shattering orgasm he just had, the last thing he needs to think about is his ex. He can’t just invite him. And he also can’t bring it up with Donghyuck but (again, earth shattering) he doesn’t want to seem ungrateful.

“Hey,” Hyuck says when he enters Taeil’s apartment. He went upstairs to get changed into something more suitable for a night out, while Taeil did the same, “The cab will be here in ten minutes. Taeyong should be ready by then. I didn’t tell him why, it just told him we’re going out and he should come.”

“Taeyong?”

“I invited him. I know you weren’t going to, so…” Donghyuck explains, carefully watching for hints on Taeil’s face, “Don’t worry. I’m confident enough in our relationship, that I’m not really bothered by your ex sometimes being around.”

One of these days Taeil's gonna figure out how Donghyuck reads his mind. Until then, he's going with the flow.

* * *

The cab ride isn’t nearly as uncomfortable as Taeil thinks it will be. Then again, all interactions with Taeyong seem that way, and Taeil thinks it’s mostly because Donghyuck is there, and he gives him so much confidence (it also might be the fact that Donghyuck is sitting in the middle, and he has his fingers intertwined between Taeil’s, so there isn’t that much time or need for interaction. Taeil’s heart is beating with excitement and that’s all he can focus on).

Jungwoo’s already at the place they arrange to meet, waiting for them. And the moment he sees them arrive (and with Taeyong of all people) he gets a smile on his face, and Taeil knows what follows after that smile.

“Look who it is.”

Jungwoo’s always had a thing for touching people, something he only excuses Taeil from (cause Taeil hates being touched by anyone (except Hyuck) with a passion). But he’s still surprised when Jungwoo puts his arm on Taeyong’s shoulders. Then, Taeil realizes how threatening it actually is, so he lets it slide.

“Hi Jungwoo,” Taeyong returns.

“Let me tell you all the reasons why we’re enemies now,” Jungwoo says, and they all know he’s not serious, but also, there’s no time to dwell on that, cause Donghyuck is looking at Taeil with pride in his eyes and Taeil’s melting into a puddle right there.

“It’s nice to see you again too.”

“So what’s the occasion?” Jungwoo asks the wrong person, so Taeyong shrugs. They then both turn to Taeil for the answer.

“I passed the GED exam.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” he responds with a smile, and before anyone can even think about it, he stops them in their tracks, “No one hug me, I only accept high fives.”

“High five, then,” Jungwoo raises his hand, “You are getting a hug one of these days, though.”

* * *

The last time Taeil got drunk was more than a year ago, and he threw up so much that night that he swore he’d never do that again. But then, he did it again. He’s not as drunk a she was then, but still. And it’s up to Donghyuck to pick up the pieces? He’s not sure how much apologizing he needs to do, and to who, but he knows Donghyuck is first on the list. How can he do this to him? It’s too early in their relationship for him to be a mess. Not just that, a disgusting mess, too.

Taeil wakes up naked in Donghyuck’s bed with a splitting headache. He actually wishes he could split his head, that might be the only thing that would help with the pressure he feels between his eyes. He also wakes up feeling embarrassed. He doesn’t remember much, and he kind of wishes he does, cause by that level of embarrassment brewing inside him whatever he did last night cannot be good.

And he never should’ve done that to Hyuck. And he’s naked? Did they? Did they not? Did his inner slut come out to play? Exactly how much embarrassment should he feel? He groans at the thought.

“Morning moonshine.”

Donghyuck peaks his head in through the slightly opened door and only enters after Taeil responds.

“Morning.”

“Here’s a painkiller,” he says and he hands Taeil a pill and some water. Taeil takes it immediately, and Hyuck watches as he takes a seat on the bed, next to Taeil’s feet, “Your clothes are on the chair over there.”

“Why are they over there? Did we?” Taeil is mortified at the thought of barely remembering the previous night.

“As much as I find you irresistible, and as much as you were begging to be fucked, which you were by the way, I would never when you’re that drunk. Also, the moment I saw you vomit was a bit of a boner killer.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s not like I’m never gonna get drunk,” Hyuck smiles at him, and teases him with the knowing eyes and the look on his face. Taeil falls back onto the pillow, hoping it will help with his headache (and with the embarrassment). It doesn’t, though, it kind of makes his headache worse, “Do you think a cuddle will help with that headache.”

“Most definitely. If you still want to touch me after last night’s performance.”

“You’re kidding. I never want to stop touching you,” Donghyuck says. He climbs in the bed and lays down next to him, carefully pulling the older into a hug. It’s warm and nice, and Taeil is already feeling better because of that gesture, “I wish you didn’t have to go to work today.”

“I wish I didn’t have to go too.”

* * *

“What’s next?” Donghyuck asks the day Taeil gets the actual certificate that says he has a GED.

“What do you mean?”

“What’s your next goal?”

They’re sitting in Hyuck’s living room as he’s working on painting some of the 3D printed elements for his latest project, it’s a pleasant evening, but there is a hint of seriousness in the atmosphere. Taeil now understands exactly why.

“A better job. And maybe some college classes. The ultimate goal is boring.”

“Why is it boring?”

“I mean, my goal is to be boring. I want a boring life. A house, a family, a stable job. No major changes. I don’t want any major excitement in it, I’ve had more than enough of that.”

“That sounds nice. We should do that,” Hyuck finally looks up from his work, and he smiles as he says the words.

“We should,” Taeil echoes, ravishing at the sweet taste that those words have in his mouth.

He’s happy. He feels like he’s in a stable place. Boring is the last wish he needs to fulfill.

* * *

Ah, what a boring life he and TLOHL get.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading. hope you liked it. all comments and kudos are welcomed and cherished.  
> take care and stay safe!!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/newct127)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/newct127)


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